Back in the '70s and' 80s the communal
family system was seen to be better than most independent family or nuclear
systems. But as time has changed, the new generation has become clever and
grown up with the confidence that they will be independent and will not allow
anyone to interfere in their personal lives. Either the two systems or the
joint family or the nuclear family have their advantages and drawbacks, but we
want to discuss what is the disadvantage of the joint system when you live in
Pakistan.
Unlike the West, it has been a
tradition ever since Pakistan had a daughter living with her parents-in-law
after marriage. It is not that the '80s couples have always had a good
experience of the family's joint system, but it is a fact that they are
innocent and have valued their traditions and respected their relationships
more than their passion.
The
disadvantages of Pakistan's communal system
Nowadays couples want to live their
independent lives or at least do not feel too much interference with anyone
whether they are parents or siblings. Some of the main reasons why the joint
system is not selected in Pakistan are:
Head
of household
In a joint family, there is always a
family head who is considered to be the "Affair" of the family. You
have to share all that comes out of your life with the results of your life
otherwise you will be considered a rebel or a member of your family.
Sounds
like a laugh, right?
The parent or the head follows the old
customs and traditions while the younger family members want to live their
lives according to the new millennium and hence the battle called
"bahu" and parental law begins. As I mentioned in today's
generations, they always prefer to be independent and they don't want to
consider anyone in their personal lives. A daughter or daughter-in-law seems to
be imagined while parents who are always considered "royal" in the
family feel frustrated with the new entry into the house.
Confidential?
What is it?
Unfortunately, the most common element
of the family's co-operation system is the privacy of a spouse who is angry
about everything. Everything in your relationship is unfolding in front of your
family.
Comparison
game
Do you have children in a public or
private school? Oh, well my kids are studying in high school in town!
Yes, this is what happens in the
family together. From your dress sense, and the way you live to the way
children talk, eat, sleep, study, etc.!
All that is comparable is your sister
(Jethanis and Dewranis) creating less conflict between parents and even
children.
Lectures
I need to get the attention of all
family members especially the head of the family so I would be the only source
of candles for the family and anyone else. This thinking encourages them to
make family members a conspiracy.
Well, I'm not joking at all! There is
always a family-friendly nature where the priority is always to try and seize
all the opportunities to torture and exploit another innocent family member.
Useless
argument
Sometimes it is emotionally draining
as there are high risks of engaging in meaningless discussions based on
misinterpretations or jealousy among family members.
Conflicts
of ideas
Just because you are saying this, does
not mean that I have to agree with you either. Right?
Every human being is free to have his
or her own opinion on any particular issue. But if you live in a family setting
you have to accept the views of senior members of the family otherwise it means
you are the only apple in the family.
Economic
crisis
The highest household members have a
higher priority than the low-income one who develops the distance between the
members of each other again and the competition begins.
Scratch
It's my birthday party, and I invited
my friends, but oh wait! If you did not invite your son-in-law, who is almost
dead.
Here begins the hero whose party has
already fallen.
Work
Younger members of the family should
always carry the burden of work because they have to respect the senior members
and stop arguing.
Limited
space
Not always but often you are forced to
live in a limited space with a family that can be part or even a single room
with anger and feel isolated in your home.
The
battles with Kitty
You are always there for kitty wars in
the family sharing system. Blame each other and mock each day and sometimes
enter into a heated debate over the regrets of this family.
Why a family-based system is best for raising children
Nuclear
family
In the United States, this family
structure is considered to be the best foster family. In Pakistan, too, changes
in the structure of the nuclear family are rapidly increasing.
The family type consists of two or
more adult members; most family members such as cousins, aunts, uncles,
grandparents and grandparents live together in the same house. This type of
family structure can be created because of financial problems or because older
relatives are unable to take care of themselves.
Family
The family / Christ was created when
individuals married several times. The family structure adds two separate
families to a new unit. It consists of husband and wife and their children in
their previous marriage or relationship. Action - families tend to have
additional problems such as repair times and disciplinary issues.
Grandpa's
family
This type consists of grandparents who
grew up with their grandmothers. This can happen for many reasons such as
parental death, addiction, abandonment or qualifying for the role.
Adoption
family
This is a family where one or more
children are adopted. Each of the above features can also simultaneously become
a foster family.
Family breakdown is the destruction of
the family system. Family seizures can include divorce, separation, and
physical violence etc. Divorce is caused by tensions and conflicts between
spouses. The reasons behind these tensions and disagreements are
misunderstandings, imbalances, failures to meet high expectations, and
differences in the views of couples and other family members.
Marriage relationships are central to
the family's ability to survive in any society, so when this settlement is
broken, the family is automatically broken. Family mobilization has a profound
effect on children's behavior because it contributes to the loss of social
control that families often incite on their members, especially children. As a
result, children adopt distorted behavior.
Like Western societies, Pakistani
society, especially its urban sphere, is rapidly changing. New customs and
values have emerged. The collective family system is lost in society.
Nuclearization is the process of social transformation of a joint family system
into a nuclear family system. Many factors are behind this movement such as
industrialization, urbanization, rapid means of communication and
transportation, declining agricultural and village skills, personal freedom,
child coexistence, privacy and the impact of Western civilization. But both the
industry and the city have suffered a major setback in the shared family
structure because new industries, often established in urban areas, attract
more people to work. When employed, the person, especially the youth, leaves
the collective system of families in the villages and towns and sets up his
nuclear family in the industrial city.
In my opinion, even today, as in the past, the family system together is best for children because it plays an important role in shaping children's personality. It maintains an effective social control system and provides children with a variety of valuable relationships. It helps us learn personal skills, and the art of living in a community. The coexistence of children feels close to their grandmothers, uncles, uncles and uncles; they understand more and create a safer relationship, which is not possible when they are apart and only occasionally meet. A cohesive family system contributes to our safety, health and prosperity, and can help us live happier lives. This is because in the family together we find so many people who help us and share our sorrows and joys, with whom we can rely in times of trouble.
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